Fade to Black...

In the darkness of my own shadow
I can't see where I'm going
My past follows me like a predator
Even when I try to push it away
My breath is caught in my throat
Terror stifles my screams
It's dark, dark in here
My own fears haunting my dreams

The fears come back, all of a sudden
The cold outside diffuses into the cold inside
I can feel the blood gushing through my veins, now
My heart isn't beating, it's shaking as it cries

I try to reassure myself
Tell myself the light isn't far away
I have to keep going, make it to the end
Try to live,
Even as I die everyday
But the fog of doubt doesn't clear away
What if there is no light?
For ever I'll be trapped in this empty cave
Feeling choked inside

In the darkness of my own shadow
I feel my fingers upon the knife
I don't really wanna do this,
Don't wanna run away from life
But nobody will ever understand
The pain that I carry with me
And so I tear the knife through my heart
And put an end to this tragedy

Shayeri ise kehte hain...

It's 'sasta' time,people!!!!!!Have fun.....


Tumko dekha.... !!
Tumko dekha....to yeh khayal aaya
Tumko dekha....to yeh khayal aaya
Paaglon ke stock mein naya maal aaya!

Idhar khuda hai, udar khuda hai,
jidar dekho udar khuda hai,
idhar-udhar bus khuda hi khuda hai
jidhar nahi khuda hai....udhar DDA kal khodega!

The night is dark, the moon is high,
I stop my car, u ask why?
I come close to u, u feel shy,
I tell u those three magical words....
Ayela, tyre Puncture!!!

Tumsa sa koi dusara jameen par huato rab se sikayat hogi....
Ek to jhella nahi jata
dusra aa gaya to kya halat hogi!!!

koi pathar se na maare mere dewaane ko........
koi pathar se na maare mere dewaane ko........
nuclear power ka jamaana hai, bomb se udaa do saale ko..........

Jis waqt khuda ne tumhe banaya hoga,
Ek saroor sa uske dil pe chaya hoga...
Pehle socha hoga tujhe jannat mein rakh lun..
Phir usse zoo ka khayal aaya hoga!!!

Mein Tumhare Liye Sab Kuch Karta..
Magar Mujhe Kaam Tha......
Mein Tumhare Liye Doob Ke Marta...
Magar Mujhe Zukham Tha !

Mere marne ke baad mere
doston,yu aansoo na bahana,
Agar meri yaad aaye to,sidhe upar chale aana!!

Unki gali se guzre..ajeeb ittefaq tha
Unki gali se guzre..ajeeb ittefaq tha
Unho ne phool phenka..pur gamla bhi saath tha!!

Tumko dekha to ek khyal aaya
Tumko dekha to ek khyal aaya
Tumhari saheli ko dekha to doosra khyal aaya!!


Shah Jahan Ne Taj Mahal Ki Har Deewar Ko Dekha,
Har Meenar Ko Dekha,
Har Kaleen Ko Dekha,
Har Khidki Se Dekha...
Aur Bola...
Maa Kasam, Bahut Kharcha Ho Gaya !!!

Maine puchha chand se "dekha hai kahin mere yaar sa hasin",
chand ne kaha "abe saale itni upar se dikhta hai kya".

kabhi khamoshi kuch keh jaati hai,
Tadapne ke liye yaad reh jaati hai,
Kya fark padta hai CLASSIC ho ya GOLD FLAKE
jalne ke baad sirf rakh reh jaati hai.

I mixed RUM in water and got drunk.
I mixed BRANDY in water and got drunk.
I mixed WHISKY in water and got drunk again.
Now I have decided never to drink water again !!!

Life without u is impossible.
U r in my blood. Cannot stay for a sec without u.
If there u aren't, I'm dead.
Excuse me, I'm talking of oxygen.

Jise dil diya woh dilli chali gayi,
jise pyaar kiya woh paris chali gayi.
Khudkhushi karne ke liye maine jab taar nikala,
tab yeh kambakht bijali hi chali gayi!!!

Zindagi mein tum bahut aage jaaoge,
kyonki jahan bhi tum jaooge,
sab kahenge,
chal be chal aage chal.

Ikhtiyarre tabbasum ki lau ko tarranume numayish se aghaa dena...
Jo iska matlab samajh aaye to please mujhe bhi bata dena.....

Ek sher sunata hoon..zara dhyaan se sun na,
mujhe nahi aata kisi aur se sun na.....

Airhostes to Laloo : R U a vegetarian or non vegetarian Sir ? Laloo : I m a Saggitarian! Airhostes : Sir aap mansahari hain ya shakahari? Laloo : Hum BIHARI hain...!

Bhagwan se Scooter manga.. Car di;
Ghar manga.. bangla diya;
dost manga toh tumhey diya..
Bhagwan ne isbar aisa zulm kyoun kiya ????

Ap ki awaz KOYAL Jaisi,
Aankhain HIRAN Jaisi,
Chal MOR jaisi,
Aadtain BANDAR Jaisi,
Acha hota agar Koi ek Aadat Bhi Insanon Wali Hoti

Rose,Lotus,Tulips,Sunflower all flowers are nice and sweet but they have no comparison with U bcoz Gobhi ke phool ki to baat hi alag hoti hai.....


When u feel lonely and alone & cannot see any one around you, the world seems to be fading away, come along with me i'll take u an eye specialist !! *

Maine Kaha Dil-Ruba- Usne kaha Paise Dikha.
Maine Kaha-Paise Nahi Usne kaha Kaise Nahi
Maine Kaha Mehangayi Hai.. Usne Kaha-Ja Tu mera Bhai Hai....

Tu Chaand maange main Chaand de du,
tu raat maange main raat de du,
Tu dil maange main dil de du,
Tu Jaan maange......
Abe bas Departmental Store samajh rakha hai kya???

Exams ke 4 din pehle syllabus dekha to yaad aaya KUCH TO HUA HAI KUCH HO GAYA HAI, Exams ke din paper dekh kar yaad aaya SAB KUCH ALAG HAI SAB KUCH NAYA HAI

I wrote ur name on the sands.............
it got washed away,
I wrote ur name in air..........................
it got blown away,
So i wrote ur name in my heart.............
i got a HEART ATTACK

when i ask u for a flower,
u give me a bouquet
when i ask u for a stone
u give me a statue
when i ask u for a feather
u give me a peacock
ARE YOU REALLY DEAF???

Teacher : four beautiful ladies r walking on the road.change it to a exclamatory sentence ... * Student : WOW !

when i call u;
1 ring means i'm thinking of u;
2 ring means i like u;
3 means i miss u;
4 means .........pick d phone idiot

Main uski yaad mein ban gaya baraf ka gola
Main uski yaad mein ban gaya baraf ka gola
aur vo boli ki Thanda matlab Coca Cola

When I C the moon I C U ,
When I C the stars I C U,
when I C the Sea I C U,
get out of the way you are blocking my view.

A friend is one who sees the first tear,
catches the second
and stops the third,
If the fourth one still comes..
then slaps you and says..
"Abe nautanki band kar."

Wife : Do you want dinner?Husband : Sure, what are my choices?Wife : Yes and no. First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!! "Second Guy : "You're fortunate, mine's still alive."

Santa:kutte shaadi kyun nahi karde??
Banta:Kyunki voh toh pehle hi kutton ki zindagi ji rahe hote hain.

Whatz a PJ ?Obviously "a poor joke"Whatz a (P + i J)?
"complex poor joke"

Why don't people laugh on a "complex poor joke" ?
Bcoz the joke part of it is imaginary.

Enjooooy!!!

Me and Niki

hey..nice pic na!!!..

It..was taken last week when we went for this dance party...both of us danced like crazy...and came back with aching feet!!!!!

Tagged..again!!!

Another tag!!!!!!..
I am posting this only because it doesn't look like the post about our cousins is going to be posted for a loong time now...so this is a filler kind of post..

A - Age you got your first kiss: M.Y.O.B!!!!..unless you're talking about the kisses that my mum gave me 3 hours after I was born..

B - Band listening to right now: Evanescence..they rock man!!sadly they broke up..waah!!:(

C - Crush(s): as I've said before-2,one major and one minor......keep guessing;)

D- Drink of Choice: Coke,Sprite,lemonade

E - Easiest person [people]:My mum

F - Favorite band at the moment:Flipsyde...its amaazzzinggg!!

G - Gummy worms or gummy bears?: Dunno..never tried either!

H – Holiday:A time to chill out and have fun..I'm probably goin to USA next year..can't wait!!!!!!

I - Instruments: My sexy black guitar(Givson venus special)..

J - Juice: only mixed with bacardi:P..kidding..apple,pineapple and cranberry

K - Kids: Oh puh-leeease!!!Don't plan on having one for the next 15 years (at least)

L - Longest car ride ever: 11 hours-in the hills..it wasn't too bad..

M - Major: huh??What kind of a question is dis?

N - Nicknames: rads,radical,monkey,simmi,radzinski..scroll down to read a detailed description.

O - One wish:I wish I could play as well as John Lennon....

P - Phobia[s]: natural disasters,snakes,all disgusting creepy-crawlies

Q - Quote:
"On the keyboard of life,always keep one finger on the escape key"

R - Reason to smile: People say I smile a bit too much and without any specific reason...

S - Song you sang last: Bring me to life-Evanescence

T - Time you woke up [today]: 11:45..ok..i know its late..but I slept at 3,people!!!!!

U - Unknown fact about me: I cry an awful lot!!!!Anywhere and anytime....

V - Vegetable you hate:Lauki and pumpkin..they suck man!!BIG TIME!!

W - Worst habit(s):umm....irritating people(usually online),when they're busy.

X - X-rays you’ve had: Last year-when I fractured my leg....that too in a sari shop in chandni chowk where I had gone to buy a lehenga for my cousin's wedding..

slipped on a array of silk saris which were carefully hiding a teeny-weeny staircase..man that lehenga actually cost me a leg..!!

Y - Yummy food:Pizzas,chicken tikkas,gol gappas and anything to do with chocolates..

Z - Zodiac sign: Leo..although according to our very own Linda Goodman ie.Madhavi I'm not at all like a leo...

Hi! My name is..

Radhika.My perfectly normal,sweet and catchy name.But for some weird reason many people absolutely refuse to call me by it and have to invent their own stupid ones..
There're quite a few freaky stories associated with the origin of some of these names..

Let me start with the commonest...

1.Rads
USED BY-almost everyone.
ORIGIN-This one had been kept by my dad looong back but now almost everyone refers to me by this one online..while chatting or sending emails..

2.Monkey
USED BY-niki,naman,nux,devina
ORIGIN-This name orignated all thanks to Naman's creativity.(for those of you who don't know,he's niki's bro)
ok since my name is Radhika I was often refered to as Radha..which was further modified to Martha by Naman and then since Martha is the name of a crazy monkey in Noddy,I'm now Monkey(lame ain't it)!!!!!!!!!

3.Simmi
USED BY-raghav and abhinav
ORIGIN-My friend Raghav,a really insane but sweet guy came up with this one.Somehow Raghav alwayyyyyys wants something or the other from me(usually its always a DVD of some movie or a book) and somehow I alwayys forget to get it.So one one such occasion when I had forgotten about it for the 7th time in a row he started screaming in the bus "Gimme,gimm
e,gimme,gimme,SIMMI!!!!!!"
So from that day onwards,I'm Simmi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

4.Radzinski
USED BY-Ayan
ORIGIN-This one is Ayan's latest name for me.He is one guy who loves modifying my name.
In eighth it was Radical and in ninth it was Raddy,and now its Radzinski which according to him also the name of some freaky football player

So currently I am known by 5 different names..and anyone is free to call me by whichever one they like..after all...

"What's in a name? that which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet....."

ok I know this is a 'sasti' ie. lame ending...not my fault..aur kuch mil nahi raha tha..and I HAVE been reading a lot of shakespeare these days:P:P

Lag Tag

Time of starting?
8:16 p.m.

Were you named after anyone?
Yup. In fact, my name has been changed quite a lot - When I was a baby (a cute l'il one with a chinky smile), it was 'Gudiya'. Soumya came next. Or was it Saumya? Whatever it was, I remember my cousins used to tease me till I cried. (Hey, I was a kid then...come on, every kid cries...Atleast I used to cry for a reason). Finally, my grandmom met some female (her friend's granddaughter, I believe) who was a great dancer and was as flexible as a 'rubber doll'. And so I was named after her. Ironically, I am as flexible as a 40-year-old.

Do you wish on stars?
Nowadays? No. But I'm sure, the kind of weirdly romantic person that I am, I must have done something like that atleast once in my life.

When did you cry last?
At around midnight on sunday night. High fever. A splitting headache. Plus, insomnia. More than enough to make me cry. Me, the one with hyperactive lacrimal glands.

What is your favorite meat?
Meat?? Me eat no meat-sheet. Bole toh...strictly vegetarian.

What is the most embarassing CD on your shelf?
CD shelf? What the heck is that? :-) Actually, my CDs are all scattered around my room, much to the displeasure of my mom...But still, for the record, there's a CD with Chona on its cover. Embarrasing enough.

If you were someone else would you be friends with yourself?
Yup. Definitely.

Are you a daredevil?
In some matters, yes. But for most things, I believe in playing safe.

How do you release your anger or depression?
Anger - First, I shout at the person who is the cause of my anger. Or anybody else around. Then, I cry. After that, I sleep. Weird, naa?
Depression - Sleeping/Crying into my pillow (Yes, I cry a lot)/Writing shitty songs with no rhyme scheme and which don't really make sense.

Where is your second home(s)?
'Saamne' - My Dadi's place which is just across the road.
'SV' - Monkey and Nux's place (for those who don't know, these are my cousins)
'School' - DPS RKP zindabad !!

Do you trust others easily?
Nope. Not at all.

What was your favorite toy as a child?
Hmmm....I never really played with toys, you know. I was more into reading and drawing. I remember squeezing myself into a corner and reading away. And I don't remember this, but everyone tells me that i used to (for some inexplicable reason) stand on one leg and draw for hours at a stretch.

What class in school/college do you think is totally useless?
English classes with Renu Panwar. She was one totally hopeless female. The guys of our class used to pick on her and swear at her all the time. And, unbelievably, she used to swear back. Okay, she obviously could not use swear words in class, so she used euphemism to hurl verbal abuse at us, which made it even more disgusting.
Also, I hate, from the bottom of my heart, our biology classes this year. We have this weird teacher who once, while teaching us about creepers, tried to clarify the concept by singing a chep song which goes like, "Hota main tera peepul, tu amarlata meri....." And inspite of our loud groans, proceeded to sing two whole verses of the damn thing !! Us din toh mera music par se vishwaas hi uuth gaya tha ....

Do you use sarcasm a lot?
Nah. Barely ever.

Have you ever been in a mosh pit?
Nope.

What do you look for in a guy?
Good CS, a magnetic personality, honesty, and a good sense of music.

Would you bungee jump?
No wayy.....If I wanna crack my skull there are better ways to do it.

Do you untie your shoe laces when you take them off?
Nope. They are already untied by then. Anyways, I wouldn't be bothered to untie them.

What's your favorite icecream?
That cute little Biki-Max. For two reasons, first being the fact that it costs only five rupees. I don't know why, but it makes me happy to see that there still are things that can be bought with a five-rupee coin. Secondly, it is a really small ice-cream, therefore I don't feel guilty about eating it every other day while returning home from school.

What are your favorite colors?
Yellow, black and white.

What are your least favorite things?
Liars and cockroaches (I've had bad experiences with both).

How many people do you have a crush on?
One. But its intensity keeps fluctuating.

Who do you miss the most now?
Taanya, one of my best pals. She's gone to her hometown, Kanpur. I miss our everyday conversations everytime the phone rings.

What are you listening to right now?
My little sister's lovely voice. I have been unofficially appointed to help her with her holiday homework. :@

If you were a crayon what color would you be?
Yellow. To colour the smileys and the sunflowers.

What is the weather like now?
One can never tell while sitting on the computer. Let me check. (Even before she gets up, she decides not to go.) Who cares?? It must be swetleringly hot outside - It obviously isn't snowing. What a stupid question to ask !

Last person you talked to on the phone?
Hmm.....Anwita - yesterday afternoon. After a long time and for a long time.

Do you like the person who sent you this?
Gawd......I do not know who sent it to me. Doesn't matter. I like all of my fellow bloggers. :-)

How are you today?
Still in my nightwear. So still kinda sleepy. Waiting for something eventful to happen.

Favorite non-alcoholic drink.
Nimboo Paani.

Favorite alcoholic drink?
All the alcoholic drinks I've tried so far taste horrible. And I've been high on sprite once - in the middle of the night. So, I obviously would not care to consume alcohol.

Natural hair color?
Jet Black.

Eye color?
Brown. Medium-to-dark brown

Wear contacts?
Nope.

Siblings?
Yep. Two of 'em.
Elder bro : Naman - 17 (bossy)
Younger sis: Devina - 10 (bugging)
I'm the filling in the sandwich - squeezed from both ends........
Somebody help me..............................!

Favorite month?
January, because the weather is at its best.
July, because of the rains.

Favorite food?
Loong list - Chaat, Samosas, Chopsuey, Onion Utthapam, Dadi's Khichdi, Nani's Pao Bhaaji and all kinds of fruit.

Favorite day of the year?
Well, there isn't any day in particular.......Though I love Diwali - that day is a good excuse to get dressed up in traditional clothes. And Holi, too. Every year, I celebrate holi with all my cousins (the ones from my dad's side). And everyone goes absolutely nuts !!

Have you ever been too shy to ask anyone out?
Yeah. And for the better. 'Cause the guy was a freaking six years older than me. I had as much of a chance with him as Devina has with Charit !! (sigh....I wish he was a few - no, many - years younger...)

Scary movies or happy endings?
Happy endings that make you cry.

Summer or winter?
Winter, definitely. I HATE summer-time. Or maybe I am saying this only because it is summer-time right now.....

What book/magazine are you reading?
1. Labyrinth - Kate Moss. Good book. Totally gripping.
2. The latest edition of Reader's Digest. I love RDs. They are interesting and thankfully the RD Editor knows english. Unlike some other magazines I have come across.

What is on your mousepad?
Hmm....Vintron - Elixir PC, Motherboards, UPS, Colour Monitor, Ritcomp Keyboards, Multimedia Speakers..... Trust me, this has nothing to do with me.

What did you watch on TV last night?
Well, technically I saw some saas-bahu soap called 'Kasam Se'. Okay, before you start giving me those glares, lemme explain. I went to visit my paternal aunt yesterday evening. Thought I'd drop in and say hello. But, you know how aunts are - "Areyy...Ni-kay-ta ! Kitne time baad aye ho !!" And then she proceeded to stuff my tummy with some stuffed paranthas. And while I was eating them (they were really tasty), she was watching the soap. Inevitably, I ended up watching it, and trying to figure out who loves who and who's pregnant with who's kid..........

Favorite smell?
Flowers.

Most tiresome thing you've ever done?
Once, I tried to make Devina recite her tables at night. Stubborn that I am, I didn't fall for her "I'm feeling sleepy" and "I'm feeling feverish" nonsense. I tried. In every possible way. First, by explaining to her the importance of tables. Then, by reassuring her that they weren't all that tough. I even tried blackmail. Now, I don't remember who won, but it definitely was a tiresome job.

Time of finishing?
2:47 p.m., two days after I started. So by now, anyone who hadn't realized how lazy I am, has been enlightened....

The Customary 'Welcome Post'

Hey everyone !! Welcome to our blog............

Here's a pic I 'stole' from someone else's blog . Normally, I don't go around stealing people's pictures, ideas, boyfriends or any other thing for that matter, but when I saw this picture I just fell in love with it. And I thought, I have to have this on my blog. It perfectly sums up my attitude towards love. Plus, it is very artistic.

TAG!!!

Well ,this is a tag which was sent to me by both Anwita and Shayeri(2 of my fellow bloggers and online pals too..)and which I am filling only and only because of Shayeri's excessive nagging...lol!.kidding of course...

ok so here it goes....

Time of starting?
5:50pm

Were you named after anyone?
well..there is a story behind my name..apparently a few days after i was born my dad went to see a play based on the life of lord krishna where the female who played 'Radha' was very pretty..so he decided to name me Radhika..(freaky aint it)

Do you wish on stars?
well...I havent ever actually seen a "Toot-ta hua tara"
are we supposed to wish on the ones in one piece too??

When did you cry last?
Last week..when I saw the last episode of F.R.I.E.N.D.S...it was so sad...
Monica and Chandler were moving away somewhere...and Rachel and Ross finally confess their love for each other..

What is your favorite meat?
Chicken..which I'm being deprieved of thanks to the frikin 'Bird flu'...can't they invent antibiotics for birds too???

What is the most embarassing CD on your shelf?
Air supply....I don't have many CD's either..but most emabarassing cassette is "GOLDEN MELODIES" by Lata Mangeshkar and Kishore Kumar..(it belongs to my mum)

If you were someone else would you be friends with yourself?
How the HELL am I supossed to know?????????????????????????????????//

Are you a daredevil?
Nope,not at all.

How do you release your anger or depression?
SCREAM (as loud as I can)..and bang my fist on a pillow,swear as much as I can....

Where is your second home(s)?
B-309 sarita vihar(Abhinav's place)
D-1/5 Hauz Khas(Niki's place)
B-396 NFC(Rekha mausis place)
M.I.S..my school(unfortunately)

Do you trust others easily?
Not really...or maybe sometimes...(confusing question I, tell you)

What was your favorite toy as a child?
Barbie dolls!!!!!!!!I had about 20 of 'em..and loads and loads of their merchandise.......

What class in school/college do you think is totally useless?
Till last year it was EVS..shit useless.......and to think they actually cut off our games period to teach us that!!Thank god we don't have it in tenth!!

Do you use sarcasm a lot?
Ya ..quite a lot actually..But for some weird reason people can't tell WHEN I'm being sarcastic;)

Have you ever been in a mosh pit?
Yup went for a Bryan Adams concert 3 years back..It was good!!!

What do you look for in a guy?
Good looks,good personality and good conversational skills.

Would you bungee jump?
I would love too..but doubt whether I'll ever get a chance..

Do you untie your shoe laces when you take them off?
Never actually needed too..so why bother??

What's your favorite icecream?
Haagen Dazs and Ben and Jerry's(had 'em in Singapore)
Yummy!Yummy!

What are your favorite colors?
Black and Red.

What are your least favorite things?
Snakes(can't stand them) and natural disasters(I'm shit scared of them).

How many people do you have a crush on?
Two-one major and one minor.

Who do you miss the most now?
All my friends at school and cousins who don't stay in Delhi.

What are you listening to right now?
Buttons-Pussycat Dolls.

If you were a crayon what color would you be?
Red or Black.

What is the weather like now?
Humid,a bit cloudy.

Last person you talked to on the phone?
Ayan(half an hour back).

The first thing you notice about the other sex?
Their overall looks and personality.

Do you like the person who sent you this?
Yup,I like both Anwita and Shayeri..though I've known them only for a short while..

How are you today?
Tired and sleepy...due to the fact that I was woken up at six thirty this morning and forced to go for a swim along with my dad.:@:@

Favorite non-alcoholic drink.
Coke.

Favorite alcoholic drink?
Bacardi Breezer(cranberry flavour)..its the only alcoholic drink that actually doent taste like its been locked up in some dingy old corner for years..

Natural hair color?
Black or maybe brown..but according to Naman its multicoloured(I wonder why he thinks its 'multicoloured??')

Eye color?
Brown..according to Madhavi..the absolutely perfect shade.;)

Wear contacts?
Yup.But only to parties and outings..not to school..wore them to school once..and got a hell lot of stupid comments:@

Siblings?
Yup..one sister..she's six years elder to me..and she thinks she's the queen of england!!!!!!!!

Favorite month?
August..since my birthday falls in it.......

Favorite food?
Anything to do with CHOCOLATES!!

Favorite day of the year?
8th August(my birthday),Diwali(my favourite festival),anyday on which I am totally vela!!

Have you ever been too shy to ask anyone out?
Nope..I've been brave in these matters..(if you know what I mean)

Scary movies or happy endings?
Happy endings......

Summer or winter?
Summer....winter brings with it a hell lot of studying..

What book/magazine are you reading?
Well..I was reading this really exciting book called 'Labyrinth' which Niki madam very cleverly chorified from me....;@

What is on your mousepad?
I usually use my laptop...

What did you watch on TV last night?
This movie
called 'Shall we Dance??' and FRIENDS(the only TV show I seriously watch)

Favorite smell?
Sunflowers by Elizabeth Arden,and this really sexy cologne a certain person uses but refuses to tell me its name!!

Most tiresome thing you've ever done?
Sightseeing in Paris..in 25 degree centi grade heat..plus no fans and no AC's..there was a bloody heater in my room!!!!!!!!!!

Time of finishing?
6:45pm